AA

AA \ˈāˈā \ n 1 : an acronym for alcoholics anonymous 2 : a large group of people that makes me want to drink, see GROUP 3 : a meeting I should probably attend regularly but the idea of meeting people face to face completely defeats the purpose of being anonymous 4 : a good resource of support for those who like the idea of sharing their personal story with complete strangers, then going their separate ways where in all likelihood they may actually meet again, perhaps while standing in line at the grocery store. You would look at me and think "I know her! She’s that girl with issues." I’ll look at you and think "Oh God, she knows what I did last summer!" The discomfort of this moment will make me want to drink 5 : a place to admit you’re an alcoholic, though most people in the world think alcoholically. Certainly, American society revolves around alcohol. Having a bad day? Have a drink. Celebrating a great day? Have a drink. Made record sales? Let’s all drink! Lost your job? Sorry, let me buy you a drink. Here for business? Can I start you with a drink? Pleasure? How may I serve you this drink? Need a vacation but can’t afford one? Happy hour includes 2 for 1 drinks. Two boys in a boat gone fishing? It doesn’t get any better than this, bring a cooler of ice cold drinks. Two girls bitchin’ about the two boys gone fishin’ instead of fixin’ the damn plumbing? Get dressed up and go out to the club where ladies drink all night for free. Alone and miserable because she left you? Drown yourself in it. Finally divorced from the spawn of satan? Bath in it. Romancing a fine young thang? Loosen her up with it. Want an excuse to have sex with a boy on the first date? Have too much of it. Gourmet meal at a fine restaurant? Pay too much for it. Homeless and don’t know when your next meal is coming? Beg for change, buy a 40 ounce of malt liquor, drink quickly. Summary: there is always a reason to have a drink 6 : standard AA membership inquiry: Why won't I have a drink today? The answers are more sobering and vary, depending on who is asking. Thus, the problem with this question; it leaves room for debate. Anyone who has ever argued with the devil knows that fighting temptation using human resolve is like wine tasting, the first sip never satisfies completely, it simply makes you want to drink more. The first answer is rarely reason enough to not drink, and so one must conjure a more compelling reason. Eventually, however, the strength of even the mightiest motivation will weaken. Thus, a more direct line of questioning is needed, one with an answer so obvious, it eliminates the need for diliberation: Whom will I serve today - the slavemaster or the redeemer? 7 : It took me over 20 years to stop drinking. I didn't go to AA. I don't have a sponsor. How'd I do it? I didn't. God did, see TRANSFORMATION.